Alone
by cilverklaw
Summary: Chapter 14 is up! Slash! and major OOC! Something major happens in this chappie o.O ... Reviews are CRAVED!
1. loneliness

pssh...first gundam fic...kill me if u want....  
  
disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS! if i did, i wouldn't share XP  
  
"Nah, Quatre, I'm fine. I just don't feel like eating." Duo said as he climbed the stairs to his room.  
  
Quatre looked at the retreating figure and sighed to himself. It was always like this. Every single time one of them was away on a mission, Duo would go into starvation mode. He doubted that anyone had even noticed except him. Heero and Wufei had gone on a mission and Trowa had gone to the circus for a couple of days. He was set to back today, in time for Heero's arrival.   
  
Quatre smiled to himself as he sat down to eat dinner. It was quite surprising that Heero and Trowa had gotten together. Even more than his own relationship with Wufei. He finished his Dinner *Whoa! That was fast ~_^* and sat down in the living room of the safe house to wait for his teammates return.  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
Duo leaned back against his closed door and sighed. His chestnut bangs fell in front of his eyes, blocking his line of vision. He pushed them back with a careless hand and walked to the shower.  
  
He stepped into the hot spray of water and closed his eyes. His thoughts wandered. iHeero? Wufei? Where are you guys? /iHis mind came up with a graphic scene of the Wing on the ground and beside it Shenlong, both of them crushed and Heero and Wufei lying inside their cockpits bleeding.  
  
Duo shook his head, yelling at himself. iStop it, Maxwell. You and your crazy ideas./i He turned of the water, his skin red from the time he had been in the shower. He put on his robe and went to sit by the window, his hair wet and loose, hanging down his back. He stared out into the night and waited.  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
Trowa walked into the safe house to find it strangely quiet. Hm? I thought Duo was here. He walked into the Living room and saw Quatre sitting in front of the TV.  
  
"Trowa!" Quatre exclaimed from the couch. "You're back early. I wasn't expecting you until later tonight. Do you want some hot chocolate?" He asked gesturing to the mug in his hands  
  
Trowa gave the blond a slight nod and a smile and sat down on the couch as Quatre left the room. He returned soon carrying two mugs of hot chocolate. He gave one to Trowa and settled down beside him.  
  
"So, how is Catherine?" Quatre asked, sipping slowly and savoring the warmth.  
  
"Catherine is fine. The circus is doing great. I miss the lions though." Trowa said, closing his hands over the warmth. *Yes. I know Trowa is more vocal now ^_^*   
  
"That's good." Replied Quatre.  
  
"Where is Duo?" Trowa asked.  
  
"Upstairs. In his room. Actually I've been meaning to talk to you for a while now." Quatre said placing his mug down and turning to face Trowa. "Doesn't it seem to you that every time one of us goes off on a mission, Duo closes himself off?"  
  
Trowa considered this for a moment. "I've never really noticed. It doesn't seem that way. He's still talks all the time." Trowa said smiling slightly.  
  
"I know. Its just that…." Quatre sighed.   
  
"Don't worry about it." Trowa soothed. "You're probably imagining it."  
  
Quatre gave him a crooked smile. "Yah. You're probably right." With that the two of them settled into comfortable silence. Upstairs, Duo still sat in his room, staring out the window.  
  
********************  
  
i will write longer chapters....i promise...*runs away* 


	2. return

Okie…. there's the second chapter that I promised after finals….=] Give me a few good reviews for this one and I'll post the next chapter! Ja, minna-san!  
  
*authors notes* might be some OOC  
  
//thoughts//  
  
Disclaimer: dun own them. If I did, I wouldn't share! XP  
  
***  
  
Duo awoke in the middle of the night, to realize that he wasn't on his bed. He groaned and opened his eyes slowly to darkness. He blinked a couple of times to adjust to the darkness of the room. He could dimly see the bed, the dresser and the door. He turned and looked out the window, seeing only streetlights and the sky black.   
  
//great… now you're losing sleep over them//   
  
He sighed and took a look at the digital clock, wincing as the back of his neck popped. Massaging it, he read the digital clock. 5:00 am. He smiled slightly. At this time, usually Wufei would be practicing his katas and Heero would probably typing away on his laptop. His smiled slipped a little as he realized that all that was before the rest of the pilots had gotten together.  
  
//I need to do something about this//  
  
He hated being miserable when one of the pilots were away. No surprise, since he loved all of then like crazy. They were his family. Family. He smiled at the thought.  
  
//…Yah. Family//  
  
He got out of the chair and walked into the bathroom, glancing at the mirror. He groaned as he began combing through his massively tangled hair.  
  
//I should really get this thing cut off//  
  
Duo knew that he would never do that no matter how much he said that. The braid was sacred. It reminded him of Solo, Father Maxwell and Sister Helen. Thus the three parts to the braid. He spent quite sometime untangling it then weaved it into its customary braid, flipping it over his shoulder with an air of arrogance.   
  
//Yep. Looks good to me//  
  
Smirking, he brushed his teeth and did the all the routinely morning things and then went to get himself some coffee. God knows he needed it. He slipped downstairs soundlessly, not wanting to wake up the resting pilots. He checked the time on the clock in the kitchen and blanched. Did it really take him that long to get downstairs? He peeked outside through the window by the sink, squinting slightly. Yup, the sun was just about ready to come up. Definitely 6:30 in the morning. He made his coffee lazily and sat down at the dining table, as he sipped his coffee slowly, his eyes glazing over as he lost himself in his thoughts.  
  
Lately he had begun to feel neglected. Usually he didn't mind if someone was ignoring him because he would go and barge in on them anyway. But ever since the other pilots have gotten together, he felt that he was being pushed aside. He loved them but sometimes they could be really hurtful without even knowing about it. Heero and Wufei usually ignored him but they would at least tell him to bug off. But not anymore. It was like they were tuning him out. As for Trowa, he didn't change all that much except nowadays he hardly even spoke to him. And Quatre… Sometimes the blond could tell that he was feeling neglected, but he really didn't care if Duo was depressed or not. He would be fine in the end, that's what they all thought.  
  
He sighed, staring into his now empty cup. He got up and rinsed it at the sink, wiping his wet hands on a towel.   
  
//well...ain't nothing I can do but live with it//  
  
He walked into the living room when he heard the front door open. He immediately turned and ran to the hallway, meeting up with Heero and Wufei, who were in the process of stepping in. He rushed to meet both of them, hugging them with one arm around the neck at the same time.  
  
"Heero! Wufei! You guys are back! Are you guys okay? Did the mission go well? Want some breakfast?" Duo finally stopped for breath, his face flushed with happiness.  
  
"I plan to die on the battlefield, Maxwell, not in your arms." Wufei choked out, trying to pry Duo's arm from his neck.  
  
Duo let out a chuckle and loosened his hold on both of them. "Sorry, Wu-man." He said with a smirk.  
  
"Don't. Call. Me. That." He gritted out, eyes glinting dangerously. Suddenly a blond ball of energy in blue pajamas raced down the stairs and threw itself at Wufei, making him stumbled backwards a little, back towards the doorway. Quatre sighed happily, nuzzling his face into Wufei's chest, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms tightly around the Asian's waist.  
  
Duo smothered a laugh, barely. It seemed like Quatre was quite eager to get Wufei all to himself. Even Heero's lips curled into a slight smile.  
  
Wufei looked with surprised eyes are the blond snuggled against him. Then his eyes softened and he too wrapped his arms around the smaller pilot in return, a soft smile gracing his lips. Quatre purred and snuggled closer to the warmth, his eyes opening slowly. He took a look around at his audience and blushed, pulling away slightly. He looked at Heero and smiled.  
  
"Hey. Are you guys okay?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Hn. Mission accomplished. Without injuries." He added, smiling back a little.  
  
Quatre beamed and took Wufei's hand leading him to the kitchen. As soon as they disappeared, Heero turned to greet the Latin pilot who had been standing in the shadows for a while. Trowa walked forward and stopped in front of Heero, taking his hand and lacing his fingers through, squeezing it gently.  
  
"How have you been?" Heero asked softly.  
  
"If you're asking if I missed you or not, then yes, I have missed you a lot." Trowa murmured back, lifting his other hand to brush against Heero's cheek momentarily. He let his hand drop and then led the Japanese boy into the kitchen.  
  
Duo stood watching this entire exchange and as soon as the second couple disappeared from his sight, he let his smile disappear. Yup, that's how it was. Not one 'how are you, Duo?' or even 'Baka'. Duo sighed. Looks like things were back to normal. Or at least as normal as it can get.   
  
"Guys! I'm going to go out for a while." He yelled as he grabbed his jacket from the closet. There was no reply. Not that he expected any. Duo shook his head and stepped out of the house, closing the door softly behind him.  
  
****  
  
Well, how was it??? Reviews and small flames are welcomed. ^_^… the next chapter will be up in a couple of days! Please REVIEW! 


	3. forgotten

Okiee…me running out of ideas for torture…will try to do my best…. ^. ^  
  
*authors notes*  
  
//thoughts//  
  
Disclaimer: dun own them. If I did, I wouldn't share! XP  
  
***  
  
It was late when Duo returned. Past midnight.   
  
//I hope no one waited up for me// He thought absently. //Then again, it would be a surprise if they did//  
  
He opened the door quietly and slipped in. The house was dark. Well, his predictions were true. Everybody else was asleep. He walked up the stairs, his sneakers making no noise over the wood. He grinned silently to himself as he made it to his room without waking anyone up. The God of death was also a master of Stealth. He slipped in as quietly as a shadow and shut the door behind him. He leaned against it and sighed, the second time in two days. God, what was happening to him? As the days went by, he was starting to feel more and more ignored and neglected. He looked at the bag in his hand. It was Quatre's birthday tomorrow. Duo was the one who had started the tradition of celebrating each pilot's birthday. Of course, his excluded. His birthday had been last week. None of the pilots had remembered it, each of them being busy in…. whatever it is they do. But he made it a point to go out and make the others have some fun whenever he could. Heero and Trowa with their silence, Wufei with his justice rants and Quatre overworking himself with the winner enterprises, Duo thought that they just needed to have fun once in a while.  
  
He walked to the bed, dropping the bag beside it. After changing into his black pajamas, he immediately collapsed on the bed, exhausted from walking the entire day.  
  
***  
  
"Happy Birthday, Cat!" Duo launched himself towards Quatre, practically lifting him off the ground in a giant bear hug. Quatre laughed happily as he was finally put down by Duo, after the braided pilot had received a glare from Wufei that clearly said hands-off.  
  
"All yours, man." Duo bowed, gallantly gesturing Wufei towards Quatre as he stepped back. He grinned as he heard an amused fit of giggles and a soft snort from Wufei. Finally turning around, he saw Trowa and Heero leaning against opposite walls and grinned brightly at them. "Okay! Plans for today. We are going…To the CARNIVAL!"  
  
Wufei immediately started, trying to claim that it is not what honorable men did but as Quatre smiled happily and clapped his hands, his features softened into a quiet smile. Trowa merely raised an amused eyebrow and Heero was as impassive as ever.   
  
"And later…" He paused for the dramatic effect, looking at the expectant faces. "…Is later. Off we go!" With that he strode out of the living room, leaving four annoyed pilots glaring daggers at his unsuspecting back.  
  
The Carnival turned out to be fun. Duo of course had extremely good luck with all the games and had his hands full in no time as poor Wufei struggled of play tic-tac-toe with three rubber balls.  
  
"Arg! This is unjust!" Wufei cried, annoyed and finally giving up. Duo let loose a small chuckle and was rewarded with a spiteful Wufei, glaring at him.  
  
"Yes, Maxwell? Something you want to say?" He asked coldly.  
  
Duo got his laughing fit under control and replied with perfect innocence. "No. Nothing at all." And as soon as Wufei stormed away, he shook with laughter again.  
  
The rest of the day went well with only a few misfortunes. Finally around six in the evening, Duo announced that they should be heading back. Seeing Quatre disappointed, he went over and stage whispered. "Hey, its not over yet." Quatre's eyes brightened and his mood lifted a little. When they got to the estate, Duo asked everyone to dress formally and meet him downstairs in thirty minutes. Once they were all ready to go, Heero and Duo in dark blue suits, Wufei and Quatre in Black and Duo in white *which was very unlike him* Duo stepped towards Quatre and presented him with tickets for a concert by the Hikari orchestra. *Very corny name, I know XP*   
  
Quatre squealed with delight, his hands clutching the tickets. "My god! I have been wanting to go to one of their concerts for a long time now. But I never had a chance to with the missions and the business and all."  
  
"Well then, let's start. We don't want to be late now, do we?" Duo said grinning. They all set off to go to the concert. Heero and Wufei found it interesting, while Quatre, Trowa and Duo were totally immersed in music. Not many would have expected Duo to have a passion towards classical music, but the American appreciated every single kind of music that he came across. Music was universal, that was his saying. The concert ended with a grand finale and the audience roared. The five gundam pilots exited and walked to the limo that awaited them. The ride back was filled with chatter.  
  
"I had no idea what to get you." Duo laughed. "I spent all last week wondering and finally remembered you mentioning something about some concert and there was my solution."   
  
Quatre's mind tugged at something when Duo mentioned last week. There had been something important, except he couldn't remember it. He spent the ride pondering over it in the back of his mind. Finally when they reached home, Quatre stopped Duo from walking into the mansion, letting the others go past.  
  
"One minute, Duo."   
  
"Sure, Cat. What's up?"  
  
"Thank you for today. It was one of the best days that I will ever have in my life." Quatre said with sincerity, looking up at the taller pilot's face.  
  
Duo grinned and brought a hand up to ruffle the blond hair playfully. "No problem, Q-man. We all need to have fun once in a while." He turned to go inside when Quatre stopped him with a hand on his arm.  
  
"Um…Duo… When was your birthday?" Quatre asked a bit hesitantly, hoping the answer wouldn't be what he thought it was.  
  
The grin on Duo's face slipped for a moment before it was placed back on. "Oh, it was sometime last week." He laughed as he waved it off. "Don't worry about it. Goodnight, Q-man. Happy birthday again." He squeezed the Arabian pilots shoulder and walked inside the house. Outside, Quatre stood in tears, horrified at what he had forgotten.  
  
***  
  
Well? Well? Well? What didja think?? Huh? Huh? HUH? Okay… I'm creeping myself out… Please REVIEW!! 


	4. serenity

Yay! Another chapter!! Sorry for the delay. ^_^' Hm…to answer one of my reviewers, I would tell u who duo would be paired up with, but then there would be no point in reading the story, ne? ~. ^… Please REVIEW!  
  
***  
  
Duo trudged along the snow, carrying an unconscious Quatre in his arms. He groaned as the pain in his leg flared, made him stumble. He knew he had been hurt, but he hadn't had time to check it. It had been important to get out of there as soon as possible. He had just wrapped Quatre's head wound with a bandage but there hadn't been enough time to do a very good job of it.  
  
//Damn Oz!// He gritted his teeth as he walked on. //Why didn't I get Quatre a Helmet for his birthday?!?!//He could faintly make out the shape of the safe house they were currently residing in. The others would be there. After what seemed like hours, he finally reached the front door of the safe house and stumbled in, shutting the door with his good leg. The door slammed shut causing Wufei to come out the kitchen.  
  
"Quat-" Wufei looked openmouthed at the blond lying limp in the other pilot's arms. "Oh God! What happened?" He cried as he rushed forward to take Quatre from Duo's arms. The Braided pilot gladly handed the Arab to Wufei, thankful to have gotten rid of the weight and that the blond could now get some medical attention. Trowa and Heero out of the kitchen to see the commotion.  
  
"Come on. Lets get him up to the room and take care of the wounds." Heero instructed. Wufei nodded and followed him upstairs. Trowa turned to go too, glancing at Duo, who turned go too, but Trowa noticed that something was a little off with the braided pilot. He seemed more subdued. //Must have been a hard mission// he shrugged it off without a second thought and turned his back towards Duo, not noticing Duo's grimace as he limped upstairs.  
  
As everyone else went into Quatre and Wufei's room, Duo managed to slip into his room unnoticed. He shut the door and limped over to the bed, to take a look at his legs. The black pants hid the blood that had practically soaked through the fabric. He pulled out a small dagger and cut the pieces of the pant leg that was stuck to his wound. He looked at it and grimaced as he realized that a piece of glass had been embedded in his leg. He sighed and got to work.  
  
After bandaging his wound, he cleaned up and fell on his bed exhausted. //No one would really care if I didn't come to dinner. They're probably busy watching Quatre. Why would they even bother with me?// With that, Duo buried his face in his pillow, refusing to shed tears that threatened to spill out.  
  
***  
  
They returned to the mansion the next day, Wufei and Trowa helping Quatre get there. The other pilots had wanted to stay there until Quatre had healed, but the blond had insisted that he would do better if he were in his own home In the end, they had all succumbed to the Arabian pilot's charms.   
  
Duo changed in his room and sat on the bed, pulling out a box from underneath. The others were busy doing their own activities so he was free to do as he liked. He fingered the Mahogany surface lovingly. //So many memories// He opened the latch and looked at his precious contents in the box. Inside there was a soot-covered picture of Sister Helen, a small fine dagger, a book of poetry and a few sheets of music. The picture he had found in the ashes of Maxwell Church, the dagger had been a gift from Solo, the book of poetry from Father Maxwell and the sheets of music were also from the church. He touched each precious piece gently, savoring the memories that made him the person he is. Picking up the music sheets, he closed the box gently and put it back underneath the bed. Clutching the sheets in his hand, he slipped out of his room, intending to head for the music room.  
  
He opened the huge door and looked inside. No one was there. Good. He wanted to be alone now. No one knew about his skill in piano and he didn't plan for them to find out. Walking over to the grand piano, he fingered the ivory keys lovingly. It had been too long. He sat down on the bench, running his hands over the keys, marveling the fine texture. Finally he began to play.  
  
His hands moved to their own accord. He felt all the tension drain away from his muscles, relaxing him completely. He didn't look at the sheets, instead he simply closed his eyes and let the music flow from his heart to his fingers to the keys. He knew the piece by- heart and so he let the emotion spill from his locked up soul, mingling with the sweet and rich sounds of the piano. Soon the small piece ended but his fingers kept moving, improvising and continuing the sweet melancholy of the song. His own song. On and on, he let himself be free. Free from the clutches of reality, letting him escape to a world where only peace and love existed. The feelings spiraled, higher and higher until it stopped at the final note, ringing until it was swept away with the silence.   
  
Duo stopped playing, eyes still closed, fingers resting gracefully on top of ivory keys. He sat quietly, savoring the silence of nothing but peace and love. He opened his eyes, the dream world dissolving away. He got up and left the room quietly, sheets in hand.  
  
Somewhere in the house, Trowa looked up from reading his book as the music he was unconsciously listening to faded away…  
  
***  
  
Sorry for the short chapter. The rest, coming soon.... 


	5. Solace

Okie…. I will try to connect this one more to the others…sorry if the last one was a little vague.. And Yes, Trowa reads a lot!!! And Heero talks a lot more…  
  
Disclaimer: dun own them.  
  
***  
  
"You guys, we should do something for Duo's birthday." Quatre said, walking into the living room where the others sat, relaxing. Duo was out on a solo mission and wouldn't be back until the next morning.  
  
Trowa looked up from reading his book (yes another one!) and Wufei turned to face him, taking a break from his usual exercises. Heero simply glanced his way, his fingers never ceasing their typing.  
  
"He does so much for us and I feel like I'm neglecting him." Quatre said, looking around the room. "Don't you?"  
  
Wufei sighed softly. "Duo understands that we need our privacy. It doesn't mean that we're neglecting him if we don't spend all the time with him."  
  
"Not all the time. But we haven't been spending any time with him." Quatre argued. "And I feel a little guilty. And I think Duo's feeling a little left out as well."  
  
Trowa turned back to his book. "So what do you suggest we do?"  
  
Quatre's eyes lit up. "Well, there is a concert in two weeks and Duo's favorite band is performing. So I thought maybe we could get the tickets and surprise him."  
  
"Sure, whatever." Wufei replied absently, turning back to his exercises.  
  
Quatre beamed happily and went to make plans.  
  
***  
  
Duo returned the next morning, tired and filthy from his mission. It was the usual sneak in, get info, blow up the base, and get back out if possible. Though the mission had been easy, all Duo wanted to do was to take a shower and collapse on his bed. He trudged up the stairs, opening his door quietly and slipping in. He glanced around. Everything looked pretty much the same. His eyes wandered and he caught sight of his box. Suddenly he had the urge to play some music. He took a quick shower, grabbed the music sheets and left for the music room.  
  
***  
  
There it was. The second time in three days. Trowa listened intently as he shut the book he was reading and walked up the stairs to the music room. The melody was once again sad and slow. He stood outside the double doors, unsure whether to go in or not. He then opened the door quietly, slipping in unnoticed. He eyes widened in surprise as he saw the American pilot playing them music, eyes closed. Duo must have really been into the music because if not he would have been aware of someone else in the room. Recovering from his shock, Trowa moved across the room, making no noise, as he picked up his flute ad followed the lead of the piano.  
  
Duo was lost in his own blissful world of dreams. He was faintly aware of another following his melody, but he paid it no heed. He continued to play, fingers moving gracefully, rising and then a decrescendo followed until the last note rang out loud, fading away. He opened his eyes, his face wet with tears. He sat there for a moment and realized that there was someone else in the room with him. He turned around, twisting on the bench as he sought out the intruder.   
  
"Trowa!" Duo turned back scrubbing his face of the salty trails. He got up, and busied himself as he collected the sheets. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I heard some music." Trowa replied, putting away his flute and leaning back on one of the tables, arms crossed. "I knew that Quatre was not here so I came up to investigate. I was kind of surprised to see you playing such a beautiful melody."  
  
"Well, what do you know? The worthless Duo Maxwell is actually good at something besides talking." He said bitterly, clutching the papers in his hand as he turned to go.  
  
"Duo, I didn't-" Trowa started towards him.  
  
"Forget it, Trowa. It doesn't matter." Duo stopped him from moving any further. "I'm sorry, okay? Why don't you go back downstairs? Heero will be looking for you." With that he exited the room, leaving a very baffled Trowa.  
  
***  
  
Heero was looking for him. He was going to go upstairs when he saw Trowa coming down. He didn't need Trowa to tell him that something was wrong. It showed on the green-eyed pilot's face.  
  
"Something the matter?" He asked.  
  
Trowa turned to look at him. "It's just-" He started again. "Duo was behaving rather strange."  
  
"Hn."   
  
"I mean, he was playing the piano and he was… in tears"  
  
"I didn't know he played the piano."  
  
"Me neither."  
  
"Trowa, don't worry about it. Duo was probably remembering something from his past. He'll be fine. We have to leave immediately. We have a mission."  
  
"Alright. Lets go."  
  
***  
  
He sighed. What had made him lose control like that? Duo no baka. Now Trowa was going to think something was wrong. He smiled a little. Well, that wouldn't exactly be bad.  
  
He shook his head, walking down the hallway. Everything was such a mess. Hopefully Trowa wouldn't do anything about it and it would just pass as one of his moods. He stopped and looked around. He hadn't seen this room before. He must have walked in absently. He looked at the walls where he saw some scrolls in Chinese. He looked to one of the sides and saw a small shrine. He walked up to it and looked at the items on a small table. Incensed sticks, a few pictures, some more scrolls and a sword. This must be Wufei's Shrine room, he thought to himself. He slowly picked up the blade and pulled it out if its sheath. The magnificent blade caught the sunlight coming from the window and shimmered. He tossed it back and forth in his hands. The weight was perfect too. Light and easy to wield. He ran his thumb lightly over the edge, pulling back as the blade cut through his skin. Sharp. It was a splendid sword. Just as he was going to try a few slashes, a sharp voice cut through the silence.  
  
"What Do You Think You're Doing In HERE?"   
  
***  
  
I love cliffhangers, don't you? .O…give me a few good reviews and I'll think about posting the next chapter. ^_^ 


	6. Departure

Took me a little longer to write this chapter…think I have writer's block XP sorry if this chapter is crappy  
  
Disclaimer: dun own them.  
  
(blah) authors notes  
  
//Blah// Thoughts  
  
***  
  
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"  
  
Duo looked at the door way where he saw a raged Wufei. "Wufei, I-"  
  
"Why do you have my sword? And why are you in this room. No one is allowed here. No one. Not even Quatre. Why are you here?" Wufei looked positively murderous.   
  
Duo shrank back a little, still holding the sword. "I didn't know that this was your shrine room. I walked in here by mistake."  
  
"A mistake? What, you Blind, Maxwell? Can't see where you're going?" Wufei stalked up to him. "And why are you holding my sword? That is my family heirloom." He snatched the sword from Duo's hand, slashing across the palm.  
  
Duo yelped and clutched his hand, trying to stop it from bleeding. Wufei did not notice or more likely ignored it. "What the hell do you about heritage? What it means? You have No heritage. You're just a goddamn slut from some slumber in L2." Duo's faced flashed with hurt, but Wufei was too busy ranting to notice. "First you go hitting on My boyfriend and then you go invade others privacy. Who the Hell do you think you are?"  
  
Duo was shocked by that. Wufei thought that he was hitting on Quatre? Duo's mind went hot then cold. His face became rigid and a mask of calmness was placed. He walked past Wufei and out the door, to his room.  
  
Once there he pulled out a duffel bag from underneath the bed. He walked to his closet, picked up the few clothes that he owned and tossed them in the duffel bag. Silently, he seethed. //How dare Wufei accuse me of such things?// He went to the bathroom to bandage his cut and then stalked to his laptop. After turning it on, he sent a quick message to doctor G that he was going to be working alone for a while and packed that up too. He slung the duffel bag over his shoulder and started to leave the room when his eye caught the mahogany box. He placed the duffel bag down and walked over to it. He sat on the bed and opened the box and looked at the contents. //So many memories//. His eyes misted over and he rubbed them furiously. //Soldiers do NOT cry//.   
  
He opened his bedside drawer and pulled another book. He placed it in there and went to close the box. After a moment, he removed the cross from around his neck and dropped it in along with the others. He picked up a piece of paper and a pencil from his desk and wrote a note to Quatre since he knew that Quatre would be the only one that would come looking for him. He placed the note in an envelope and left it on the middle of the neatly made bed along with the box. Then without a backward glance, he left the room, never to come back.  
  
***  
  
Quatre was ecstatic. He had finally gotten the tickets for the Metal Mania concert. //Duo is going to be so excited//. It wasn't too late. Only 8:30pm. He bounded upstairs to Duo's room and knocked, not wanting to invade on the boy's privacy.  
  
"Duo?" Quatre paused for an answer. Upon hearing none, he knocked again. "Duo? Are you there?" No answer. //Hm. Must have gone to sleep early.// Quatre knew that he had come back from the mission this morning and must have been tired so he left the braided pilot to his rest, deciding to tell him about the concert tomorrow.  
  
***  
  
(Should I or should I not end it here? //looks at readers with daggers// *sweat drop* heh. I shall continue *Phew*)  
  
***  
  
It was past eleven in the morning. Where was Duo? Quatre was getting impatient. He decided to go and wake up the pilot. He stopped outside the room again and knocked. Still no answer. He opened the door quietly. "Duo?" he called out. There was no one there. Quatre noticed that the bed was made. That was strange. Duo usually didn't make his bed. He went and checked the bathroom to find it deserted. When he came back into the room, he saw an envelope on the bed along with a mahogany box. //Hm. What's this?//   
  
He walked over to the bed and picked up the envelope. It was a plain white envelope with his name scribbled on the front in Duo's scribble. //Must have meant for me to find it.// He opened the envelope and began to read.  
  
***  
  
sorry, minna-san…..too tired to write the rest right now…four hours of sleep in three days does not do you good….*yawn* I think...I'll….sleep….*BAM* *cilverklaw asleep on the Keyboard……sdfughsjdbfkwugefjwebf…ouch, that's not a good thing….zzzzzz* 


	7. Discoveries

Mmhm….  
  
Disclaimer: dun own them  
  
(blah) authors notes  
  
//blah// thought   
  
***  
  
Dear Quatre,  
  
I am so sorry to have left without telling you. But I can't stay here anymore. I feel neglected and that I'm intruding on your lives. I know you'll try to look for me even if I ask you not to, but you won't find me. I am going to be working alone for a while .I have few things for all of you. In the Box, there is a dagger that was given to me by a dear friend. I want that to go to Heero. I know he appreciates fine craftsmanship just as much as Wufei. The book of poetry to Trowa, he'll enjoy it, I'm sure. The diary and the music sheets are for you, little bro. And for Wufei, give him the cross and the picture of sister Helen. Tell him that it is the only thing I have of my heritage and that I'm proud of it. He'll understand.  
  
Take care of each other. And Quatre, take care of Wufei. I know he doesn't say it much, but he loves you. Don't ever let him go.  
  
I love you all very much. And I'll never forget you.  
  
Sayonara  
  
-Duo Maxwell  
  
***  
  
Quatre read the whole thing, with tear-filled eyes. //Sayonara.// It sounded so final. The words became blurred as he read the end. //…only thing I have of my heritage...he'll understand… take care of Wufei..// Quatre frowned as he read them over and over again. Why did Duo mention Wufei so much?? He thought back to the times that the American and himself had spent together as his eyes cleared in realization.  
  
//flashback//  
  
"I think I'm in love with Wufei." Quatre confessed.  
  
Duo choked on his glass of orange juice. "What?" He sputtered.  
  
"I know its crazy but really, I think I have feelings for him." Quatre said, wringing his hands.  
  
Something flashed in Duo's eyes. "So what are you going to do?"  
  
//end of flash back//  
  
***  
  
Duo stood in front of the shuttle to L2. He was going back to where he came from. He closed his eyes, as his mid was flooded with memories.  
  
//flashback//  
  
Through the next few weeks, Duo noticed Wufei sneaking glances at the Arabian. One day while walking through the corridor, he heard a conversation from inside one of the rooms. He tiptoed over and put his ear to the door, listening.  
  
"I don't know what to do." Wufei's voice came floating through.  
  
"Go tell him." Trowa's smooth baritone voice replied.  
  
"But what if he doesn't feel the same way?"  
  
"Then he doesn't. You'll never know until you try." Duo's heart was breaking with every word.  
  
"I guess you're right. I'll tell Quatre tomorrow." Wufei replied.  
  
Duo turned and ran to his room, throwing himself on his bed, sobbing.  
  
//end of flashback//  
  
Duo smiled to himself. //And then what did you do?//  
  
//flashback//  
  
"Tell Wufei how you feel." Duo said. //good job, Duo, send your best friend to do the job that you should be doing.// His mind whispered.  
  
"But what if he doesn't feel the same way?" Quatre protested.  
  
"Just trust me on this." Duo said firmly.  
  
Later that night, Duo stopped by the living room and saw Quatre and Wufei cuddling. He quietly backed out and went to his room. Once inside, he closed the door and leaned against it.  
  
"Be happy, Wufei." He whispered, silver tracks going down his face. "Be happy, my love."  
  
//end of flashback//  
  
Duo shook himself of his daydreams and boarded the shuttle. Yes, he only hoped that Wufei was happy.  
  
***  
  
Quatre was still remembering all those times when Duo had matched them up. He had seen the American pilot glance at them longingly. No, not them, at Wufei. Quatre eyes widened and he dropped the letter, rummaging through the mahogany box until he found the black diary. Flipping the pages until he came to a few days before February 11th. That was the day when he and Wufei had gotten together. He stopped at January 31st entry.   
  
…Quatre told me that he was in love with Wufei. And I know that Wufei feels the same. I heard a conversation between him and Trowa. Oh god, what am I to do? I love Wufei. For the first time in my life, I fell in love. And now that I know how he feels I'll never be able to tell. Only thing I can do is to get him and Quatre together. I want him to be happy. Even if it is not with me…  
  
Quatre flipped a few pages ahead. To the date of February 11th.   
  
…I saw them together tonight. They looked so happy. I wonder how it would have been if I were with him instead. But I guess there is no use in wishing for something that might have been….  
  
Quatre was horrified as he read these. Duo had given up his love for him. His eyes filled with tears as he read the more recent entries.  
  
June 29th.  
  
Its happening again. Wufei seems to be mad at me for some reason. I can't even talk to him about it. And once again I'm the third wheel. Ain't life wonderful? Sometimes I wish I could just go off into a new world. My world. That's it! I haven't played the piano in a long time. Maybe that will help me….  
  
Quatre shut the diary, tears streaming openly. God, he felt terrible. He knew that Duo had gone through a lot in the past and now he had taken away the only chance Duo had at loving someone. He put the book back in the box and carried it to downstairs, to the living room, where he saw Wufei reading a book. Or rather staring at it. He put it down and walked over to the couch where the Chinese man sat. Usually he would have sat down and cuddled, but right now he was reluctant to touch the other.  
  
"Duo's gone." He said softly. Wufei merely glanced at him before going back to his book. "I want to find him." He continued. "Will you help me?"  
  
"If Maxwell left, he clearly did so on his own." Wufei said, this time not even glancing up.  
  
"How can you say that?" Quatre asked horrified. "Duo is one of our friends. We must find him and bring him back."  
  
Wufei was getting pissed by now. He stood up, the book falling out of his hands. "Why do you care all of a sudden what happens to him?" he yelled. "If anything, he doesn't deserve to be with us. He invades our privacy constantly. He went into my shrine room yesterday. No one is allowed in there. And he took out my sword. That is my heritage. He has no heritage. He's just a damn slut."  
  
Quatre took a step back. "Did you say that to him?" He choked out.  
  
"How-"  
  
"DID YOU SAY THAT TO HIM?" Quatre shouted.  
  
"YES I DID! AND I DON'T SEE HOW IT MATTERS!" Wufei yelled back.  
  
"IT MATTERS VERY MUCH!" Quatre cried. "You don't know anything about him…"  
  
"Then why don't you tell me, Quatre? Since you seem to know him well." Wufei taunted.  
  
"For god's sake, Wufei, Duo was raped!"  
  
***  
  
ohh…another cliffy…how fun! reviews = more chapters! Hehe ^_^ 


	8. Search

Hm…confusing my self…  
  
Disclaimer: dun own them  
  
(blah) authors notes  
  
//blah// thoughts  
  
***  
  
"For god's sake, Wufei, Duo was raped!"  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"Duo was raped. Now you calling him a slut… Oh god." Quatre sat down heavily on the opposite couch, putting his head in is hands.  
  
"How? What? When…" Wufei started.  
  
"When he was a kid, before we was taken into the Maxwell Church, he was captured by a gang. They raped him for days, okay? He was traumatized. He felt that it was his fault. For not being strong enough." Quatre ran his fingers through his hair. "He had sworn to himself that he would never ever be weak enough to let anyone ever do that to him again. And when you called him a slut, all those memories must have come rushing back."  
  
"How was I supposed to know? Well, he was right about one thing. He was weak to let them rape him." Wufei replied haughtily, but inside his mind was in turmoil.   
  
Quatre lunged up from the couch and punched him in the face. Wufei, not expecting this, stumbled back and fell on the couch. He looked up to see the Arabian glaring balefully at him.  
  
"You cold-hearted bastard." Quatre spat out, eyes blazing. "You have any idea how much he loves you?"  
  
Wufei was struck speechless. Duo loved him. What the hell was going on?   
  
Quatre was rummaging through the box and he pulled out the black diary. He turned and threw it at Wufei, who caught it and looked up questioningly.  
  
"Read the entry of January 31st."   
  
Wufei opened the diary and turned to the page of the entry. As he read it, his eyes became wide in realization. "What-"  
  
"And you know what else?" Quatre laughed hollowly. He pulled out the picture of sister Helen and the cross and threw those across to Wufei too. "He left you those too. Do you know how much that cross meant to him?"  
  
Wufei just stared at the picture and the cross in his hands. Quatre continued. "That is a picture of sister Helen. A nun from the Maxwell church that had adopted him. And do you know what happened to that Church, Wufei? It burned. BURNED. The only place where he had found love had been burnt down. That was all he had left of it. Father Maxwell, who Duo used to consider as his own Father, gave the cross to him. That is his HERITAGE. That means something to you, doesn't it, Wufei?" Quatre sneered.  
  
"His heritage…" Wufei whispered. Quatre seemed to lose all the fight in him and sank to the floor on his knees.   
  
"And when he finally loved again," Quatre choked out. "I took it away." He shook his head, tears flowing down his pale cheeks. "Oh god, how could I? After everything he had been through." Quatre bent over and started sobbing heavily. He noticed a pain of hands reach for his shoulders and draw him close for an embrace.  
  
"Its not your fault, Quatre." Whispered Trowa, as his hands stroked soothingly along the blond's back. He and Heero had gotten back from their mission and had heard shouting in the living room. He pulled back a little and looked down at the tear-stained face. "You know what your problem is, Quatre?" The blond just blinked back at him. "You tend to put everyone's troubles on your shoulders."  
  
"But Trowa-"  
  
"But nothing. There was nothing you could do. Things happen. It's fate. Don't blame yourself Quatre." Trowa said soothingly. He turned to face Wufei, and his face hardened. "As for you, I can't say the same. You should have not called him a slut. He did nothing to deserve it." Trowa led Quatre out of the room, stopping but the doorway where Heero stood. They shared an understanding nod and Trowa left with Quatre. Heero looked back into the room where Wufei sat, staring at the contents in his hands.   
  
"He's right, you know?" Heero said, walking over to where his laptop rested. He quickly began to work, looking for any places that Duo might have been headed for. "I'm going to help Quatre find him. It would be best of you did the same."  
  
"I will." Wufei said. He pocketed the cross and the picture and walked over to where Heero sat. "What have we got?"  
  
"So far. Nothing." Heero replied, his eyes moving rapidly, reading across the screen. "Where do you think he might have gone?"  
  
"I don't know. L2 maybe. But if he left last night, we wouldn't have a chance of getting to him." Wufei said.  
  
Both of them thought for a moment. "He must still be taking on missions, right?" seeing Heero nod, Wufei continued. "Well, check any new missions. And the old ones."  
  
"Right." Heero swiftly began looking over new and old missions. "Wait, here's one mission. It required all of us. Classified extremely dangerous and to use caution."  
  
"I don't remember going on any missions that required all of us." Wufei said. He thought for a moment and his eyes widened in realization. "Oh no…"  
  
He turned immediately and yelled, "QUATRE!"  
  
***  
  
Hehehe…I'm evil...XP…Reviews! 


	9. pain

New inspiration has struck! *Rubs hands gleefully* oh how fun…o. O  
  
Disclaimer: dun own them  
  
***  
  
//What happened??//  
  
Duo slowly came became conscious, his eyes opening slowly only to be met with darkness. His head felt like it was about to explode. What was going on? He tried to sit up, but found that he couldn't move his arms. Or legs. He tried then heard metal clanging. So he must be chained.  
  
// What the hell….//  
  
He thought back to earlier that day. He had been called on a mission along with the rest of them. But to avoid meeting them he intercepted it and stopped it from going to Heero's account. Next he had gone to the mission alone. He had to retrieve data from one of the main computers' hard disk. HE had just finished when the OZ soldiers had caught him.   
  
//damn…//  
  
He had to get out of here. He tried twisting this way and that to reach into his hair where he had his lock picks hidden, but to no avail. His hands were above his head and his legs were apart, so he was in a spread eagle position. There was no way that he could reach into his braid. He slowly became unconscious again, from the effort of trying to get free.  
  
***  
  
"Quatre!"  
  
"What is it?" Trowa asked coming into the room, with Quatre in tow.  
  
Heero got up from his chair and started getting ready for the mission. "That idiot…"  
  
"He took on a mission that required all of us by himself." Wufei informed them. "The jerk…"  
  
"Oh no…" Quatre's eyes widened.   
  
"Get ready. We're all leaving." Heero instructed.  
  
"Right."  
  
***  
  
Duo became conscious again when he heard a metal door open. He squinted as the light from outside flashed in front of his eyes, then it was blocked by a bulky shadow.  
  
"Well? Well? What do we have here?" Duo chose to remain silent. "Gundam pilot 02, isn't it?" the shadow walked closer, shutting the door and turning on a light. It was dim, but still Duo had to close his eyes for a few minutes.  
  
The Shadow stopped in front of him. "Tell me, what exactly were you doing with the mainframe?" Silence.  
  
Duo wrinkled his nose at the bad breath and didn't say anything. He heard a low chuckle and opened his eyes. The man had a tall bulky frame, a shaggy beard and a sneer on his lips.  
  
"Silent, huh?" A resounding slap sounded in the room. Duo's face was flung to the side from the force of it. His eyes were hidden by his bangs as he hung there making no noise. Red fingerprints were visible even in the dim light, leaving on heck of a bruise.  
  
"Look at me." The stranger commanded. When he didn't, the other man grabbed his chin and turned it forcefully. Amethyst eyes opened, blazing with suppressed anger.  
  
The other man chuckled. "Yes, beautiful. I had imagined it so."  
  
Duo glared at the other man and spat at him in the face, resulting in another slap. "Filthy wretch." The other growled. "I'll show you your place." With that he kissed Duo forcefully. Duo struggled back and bit his lips. The other man roared. Then came a serious of hard slaps. Duo said nothing, but struggled to push the man away.  
  
"Guards!" The other man yelled. About five of them came into the cell. "Drug him."  
  
At hearing this, Duo started to struggle against the chains once more. Four of the guards held him still, while a fifth one, stabbed a needle in his arm. Duo immediately became unconscious.  
  
"Hn. What a pity." The stranger said. Turning to the guards, he said two words. "Break him."  
  
***  
  
Duo regained consciousness after about two hours. He found his arms and legs still chained, but he felt rather dizzy. Moving his arms and legs or any part of his body took a lot for him. God, the drug they had given him must have been to mess up his motor coordination. He could still feel his cheeks stinging. His head felt like it had been pounded on to the cement. He gave a soft groan.  
  
"Awake, are we?" A voice asked. It was different from the other man's. He heard footsteps and saw the cell door open. "Hey boys! He's awake!"  
  
Four other pairs of feet came down to the cell. The dim light was once again turned on. Duo closed his eyes and opened them. "Who are you?" He croaked.  
  
"Oh, just a bunch of guards looking for some fun." One of the guards sneered. Duo's eyes narrowed and a hint of fear was shown in them. Hands started groping him, taking off his clothes.   
  
"No... What are you doing??...Stop...please…" He tried to say. Some one unchained him and he fell to the floor with a soft thud. After realizing what was about to happen, his scream echoed in the vastness of the cell.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!"  
  
***  
  
No, I didn't do anything…*whistles innocently*…hehe 


	10. Rescue

Disclaimer: dun own them  
  
***  
  
"Any openings?" Trowa asked, from his Gundam. There were many mobile suits that seemed to want to crush his skull. //well, not today, buddy…//  
  
"Negative. But if you see one take it." Heero called from his own Gundam.  
  
"Right." By now the mobile suits had lessened but more seemed to be appearing out of nowhere. Without warning, Wufei swooped down low and headed to an area in shadows.   
  
"I think Wufei has spotted one. He's taken it." Quatre said, blasting a mobile suit to his right.   
  
"All right. Let's finish these."  
  
***  
  
Wufei left shenlong in the shadows of the trees and made his way to the base on foot. Pausing by the side of the main building, he climbed up a pole and slipped into an air vent.  
  
//Filthy…//  
  
He crawled through the vents, stopping and listening every time he heard someone come along. During one such moment, he heard the guards speaking about a prisoner.  
  
"…He's locked up in the cell." One guard said.  
  
"And he's supposed to be one of the Gundam pilots? What a joke!" the other laughed and the first one joined him. Wufei steamed silently and lifted the metal that lead to the hallway below. He jumped down, quietly, behind the other two pilots and followed them.  
  
"I'm sure even I would have enough sense not to come in here if I were the Gundam pilot." The first one said.   
  
"Of cour- Ugh!" the second guard fell to the ground unconscious. The first guard moved to turn around, weapon out, when he felt something on his temple and heard a cold voice.  
  
"Don't even think about it." Said Wufei. He reached in front of the man and took his weapon, tucking it into the waistband of his own pants. "Now, take me to the cell of the Gundam pilot."  
  
The other guard nodded and gulped. He slowly led the way to the cell through a series of passageways. Wufei kept track of them mentally, since he planned to come back out his way. Finally the guard stopped by a metal door.  
  
"Open it." Wufei ordered. The guard punched in the code that would slide open the door. Once the door was open, Wufei knocked the guy unconscious by hitting him on back of his head and walked in the door. A dim light was on.  
  
His eyes scanned the room and found a dark corner where he was a body lying on the ground, curled into a ball. He walked over to it and crouched down. As soon and he laid a hand on one shoulder, Duo shrank back.  
  
"No…please, no…" He whimpered, not lifting his head. He body trembled violently.   
  
"Duo…" Wufei said, softly, reaching for him again. "It's me, Wufei."   
  
Duo lifted his head and Wufei was shocked. His face had red fingerprints and a numerous amount of bruises. But what shocked him even more than that were his eyes. The eyes that had been full of life were now empty. Nothing but an endless void.   
  
He reached over and gathered the boy in his arms, carrying over to the light. Duo protested, "No please…no… 'Fei…" He tried to curl back into a ball, to cover himself, in vain. Once in the light, Wufei's eyes widened at the extent of injuries on the American pilot's naked body. His upper body was covered harsh black and blue bruises, some of the caused by broken ribs. Moving lower, his thighs were caked with blood. Wufei was horrified. That could only mean one thing. He checked the American for other injuries. There was one in the back of his head, his unbound hair matted with blood. All the while, Duo was muttering.  
  
" 'Fei…get out of here… please…save yourself…please." Duo whimpered. He tried to bring up his hand to push Wufei away but found himself unable to do so.  
  
"What did they give you?" Wufei asked.  
  
"Some…drug…can't move…arms…or…legs…" Wufei could see that it was taking a lot out of him just to talk and quieted him. He dressed him in his old clothes that lay strewn across the room, and picked him up gently.   
  
"Try and stay awake, ne? Might have a concussion." Wufei whispered. Duo nodded slightly, and relaxed in Wufei's arms, trusting him completely. Wufei felt a deep emotion in his chest when Duo snuggled closer to his warmth. He took a couple of deep breaths and walked out of there hoping he could get to the vent without meeting any guards on his way.  
  
Unfortunately, he did meet another couple of guards down the passageway. He was fumbling with his gun and with Duo in his arms, when two guns shots rang out and the guards dropped dead. Behind them, was Trowa, gun in hand.  
  
"Thought you could use a hand." He said, with a slight smile. Wufei flashed him a look of gratitude and both of them made their way back to the air vent. There was a metal rung on the wall near it, and being the acrobat, Trowa swung himself up and over and into the air vent. Once there, he dropped the rope he had brought along with them and hoisted the other two up. Once all of them were safely in the vent, they started to crawl, Wufei had to slow down his pace because of the weight of Duo on his back. They reached the outside of the building and using the rope, climbed back down. As soon as their feet had touched the ground, Wufei and Trowa took off running to their Gundams, Duo hanging limply in Wufei's arms.  
  
"Do you want to take him or shall I?" Trowa asked, as they reached their gundams.   
  
"I'll take him. Can u get deathscythe? Put it on autopilot?" Wufei asked, shifting his hold on the braided pilot, as he started to climb his own Gundam. Trowa nodded and set off in the direction of where Deathscythe was merged in the shadows.  
  
After climbing into shenlong, Wufei set his Gundam too in autopilot and went over to where Duo lay, exhausted. Then he started to take care of the boy's wounds. He bandaged the head wound, wrapped the broken ribs and applied salve on the ugliest bruises.  
  
"It was stupid to take on that mission by yourself." Wufei muttered.  
  
Duo turned his head away and spoke weakly. "It was supposed to be a suicide mission. I knew that one of us would die if we all went there."  
  
"Is that any excuse for going off alone??" Wufei retorted.  
  
"To me, yes. I will not stand by knowing that someone I love could get hurt." He moaned softly.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"My head hurts." He replied, closing his eyes. Wufei went and got some aspirin and water. He helped Duo sit up and fed it to him manually. After laying Duo back down carefully, he asked.  
  
"What happened there, Duo?"  
  
The American pilot's face scrunched up and he turned to his side, curling into a ball. "Please, Wufei…don't ask me this…"  
  
"All right. Rest for now. I don't think you have a concussion, so it's safe for you to sleep. Rest."  
  
Duo closed his eyes and slept. Wufei went back to cockpit and sat there, thinking.  
  
***  
  
I think I'm gonna end it here… have school from tomm…so probably wont be updating for a while…read and review! 


	11. Truth

Disclaimer: dun own them  
  
(blah) authors notes  
  
//blah// thoughts  
  
***  
  
"How is he?" Quatre asked as the doctor emerged from the emergency room of the hospital. When the Gundam pilots had gotten back to the mansion, they had admit Duo in the hospital immediately, when he started to cough up blood.   
  
The middle-aged woman in her white lab coat removed her glasses and sighed. "Honestly he's not doing so good. Not only has he broken quite a few ribs but also one of them pierced his left lung. That explains why he was coughing up blood. The lung is badly damaged. I don't know how soon we can even get a transplant for him. So far, the surgery helped remove the rib that pierced the lung and set it back in place but it has not helped much in repairing the damage of his lung."  
  
Quatre's eyes widened with every word. The woman went on, not noticing. "Also, I think he was raped. His insides are torn and cut. He has lost a lot of blood. We have done everything we can for him. But unless a lung transplant comes through, there is not much hope."  
  
"Right now, he's asleep. It will take a while before he is awake again. I'll let you know when he wakes up."  
  
Quatre looked positively horrified. He somehow managed to mumble his thanks and walked to the seat in the waiting room where Trowa sat patiently. Heero and Wufei had gone to take care of some last minute details regarding the mission. The blond sat down, shell-shocked by the events.  
  
"Quatre?" A soft voice interrupted.  
  
"He was raped…" Quatre whispered, a crack in his voice. "Gods, Trowa, he was raped." Quatre covered his face with his hands. "The doctor said that his lung was pierced and that he needed a transplant or else…." Quatre's body shook with the sobs that racked through him. "No, no, no…this wasn't supposed to happen…no…"  
  
Trowa gently took him in his arms, quieting his sobs, murmuring soothingly. "Shh, it's going to be okay. Things will be okay. Not better, just okay."  
  
Just then Wufei and Heero came through the doors. Looking at the state Quatre was in, Wufei crossed the room, taking the Arabian into his own arms, leaving Trowa free to get up and greet Heero.  
  
"Report."   
  
"Damn it, Heero!" Trowa cried. "This is not just a stupid mission. This is Duo we're talking about!"  
  
Heero looked down, shamefaced. "I'm sorry." He reached out with his hand drawing Trowa closer to him. "I didn't mean for it to come out that way." He rubbed his hand along Trowa's back. "How is he?"  
  
Trowa sighed and relaxed against Heero. "Honestly, he's not doing so good. He needs a lung transplant, and chances of finding one fast enough is not good either."  
  
Heero's body became tense as he listened to the other's words. All of them settled down for the long wait.  
  
Second ticked by, hours passed. It seemed like eternity, only they were waiting for it to end. Wufei held Quatre on the bench. The Arabian had finally gone silently, withdrawing into himself. Trowa and Heero stood leaning against opposite walls, both pairs of eyes, glued towards the door.  
  
Just as it seemed that it never was going to end, the doors opened and a nurse came out.  
  
"Are you here for Duo Maxwell?" Four nods. "I am here to tell you that he is awake. We have moved him to room 329. Go one at a time. I don't want anyone overwhelming him. Understood?" She asked sharply, but her eyes were soft with kindness.   
  
"Yes." Wufei replied. The nurse gave a small smile in return and left the room.  
  
***  
  
Quatre entered the room 329, slipping in quietly. Everything was so white. In the middle of the room, lay a white bed with a body. The Arabian moved quietly to the side and looked at the American pilot's face. He looked so pale, except for the dark bruises all over his face. His eyes were shut and he looked to be asleep. Quatre sighed, disappointed to have missed the little time in which his best friend was awake. He reached over and took the limp hand, tangling his fingers with the other's and gave a gentle squeeze. In response, the limp hand gave a weak squeeze in return. Quatre looked up the bed to see hooded amethyst orbs looking back at him.  
  
"Hey." He whispered softly.  
  
"Hey yourself." Duo rasped back a reply. He coughed a little and gestured towards the glass of water beside his bed. Quatre picked it up and helped him drink a few sips of water.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Like I've been squashed by all five Gundams at once." Duo replied, smiling.  
  
Quatre winced at the attempt to lighten the mood. "Don't even joke about that. If you weren't bed-ridden, I would have personally made sure that you were Squashed for what you did." He said sternly.  
  
"eh, guess I deserved that, ne?" Duo grinned his usual 100 watt smile, except now it was only about 25 watts. Quatre returned the smile with a small grin.  
  
"You are an idiot. First you leave without telling me, and then you almost get yourself killed. What kind of friend are you?" Quatre demanded, half-joking.  
  
"A good one? A bad one? I don't know. You tell me."  
  
"Baka." Quatre chuckled, soothing the chestnut bangs out of the other's face. Another moment of silence passed.   
  
"Can I ask you something?" Quatre questioned breaking the silence.  
  
"You just did, but go ahead and ask another one."  
  
"Do you really, truly love Wufei?"  
  
Duo took a deep shuddering breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, his heart was bared open for anyone to see.  
  
"Yes, I do."  
  
***  
  
Just gonna end it there for now…*yawn* I should get some sleep…I wonder why I always end up writing these in the night 


	12. Talk

Disclaimer: blah blah I blah don't own blah Gundam blah wing blah blah…..  
  
***  
  
"Yes, I do."  
  
The whispered words were met with silence. The best friends read each other's souls, one trying to find any lies and the other leaving himself completely open.  
  
"Gods, Duo, why didn't you tell me?" Quatre held his best friend's hand to his cheek. "Why? Why? WHY?"  
  
"What would you have done then, Quatre?" Duo asked quietly.  
  
"I would have left Wufei alone. Then at least you would have had a chance-"  
  
"No, Quatre." Duo interrupted. "I never would have had a chance."  
  
"What-"  
  
"Hush and listen to me. I never would have had a chance because I knew that Wufei wasn't in love with me. He was in love with you, Quatre. Even then."  
  
Quatre listened, the tears that were held back now falling freely. "I'm sorry, Duo. I'm so sorry." He choked out, clutching the pale hand on his own.  
  
"Don't be. It wasn't your fault that Wufei fell in love with you. It wasn't your fault that this happened to happen either. Is that what you think? Don't blame yourself, Quatre. Please, don't."  
  
Duo's plea got him to lift his head and look at the jewel-like eyes. "Gods, Duo, don't look at me like that. Scream at me, hit me, curse me, anything but don't look at me like that."  
  
Duo opened his mouth to interrupt, but Quatre went on. "You must hate me for this. How could I do this to you, after what had happened? How can you not…I don't know…" He trailed off.  
  
"Quatre, please, for once listen to me. Don't just hear me, but actually listen. I can't hate you, Quatre. Not after what has happened, not after anything. You're my best friend and you have done nothing wrong. I have no reason to even be mad at you. Its just fate Quatre, and you taught me that a long time ago when I told you about my past. If I am not to blame myself for that, then neither are you to blame for this, understand? There. Was. Nothing. You. Could. Do."  
  
Duo lifted the other's chin up with his other hand. "Think about what I said, ne? Now send the others in too. They'll be wondering what you're doing in here so long."  
  
Quatre nodded, wiping back tears unconsciously. "I'll send Trowa and Heero in." He touched the bruised face one last time and then went out to call the others.  
  
***  
  
"Hey, you guys."  
  
Trowa walked up to one side of the bed where Duo lay. Heero took up a space on the other side of the bed.  
  
"How are you doing?" Trowa asked softly.  
  
"I'll give you the same answer I gave Quatre. Like I've been squashed by all five Gundams at once." Duo replied chuckling. Then his face turned serious. "I'm sorry about what I said before, in the music room. I didn't mean to be rude."  
  
"Its okay, Duo. We all have our moods." Trowa soothed away any guilt that might have been. "Duo, why didn't you tell us about how you felt? We would have done something about it."  
  
"When, Trowa?" Duo cried out. "Quatre was too busy with his business, Wufei and you, Heero, you guys ignore me most of the time anyway, and you, Trowa, you hardly talked to me, even when I was talking to you. When would you have helped me? Or even listened to me?"  
  
Trowa stood struck speechless. He ducked his head, shamefaced. Duo sighed. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."  
  
"Stop apologizing." Heero said, speaking for the first time. "It seems like you're doing that a lot. You shouldn't have to apologize. If anything we should be apologizing."   
  
"Heero's right." Trowa said, taking Duo's hand. "We didn't mean to neglect you, Duo. It just seemed that you were always happy and since you never said anything, we never bothered to notice. That's not what friends do. I'm sorry."  
  
Duo extended other hand toward Heero. The Japanese pilot came forth and took it. "What had happened has happened." Duo said softly. Four hands came to rest upon Duo's heart. Two of his own, one of Trowa's and one of Heero's. "Forget the past and move on, okay?"   
  
Trowa and Heero nodded. Duo laid his head back down and closed his eyes. "Send Wufei in, please? I want to talk to him too."  
  
"Okay." The two turned to go.  
  
"And Heero, if you find my old priest outfit, look in the right pocket. I have a disk that has some very useful information." Duo said from the bad.  
  
"Hai." The perfect soldier let himself smile one last time at the American pilot and left the room with Trowa in tow.  
  
***  
  
Heero put the disk into his laptop and opened the contents. His eyes widened at the amount of information that was in there. "My god…"  
  
Turning he called. "Trowa!"  
  
"What is it?" the Latin pilot came into the room almost immediately. He looked over Heero's shoulder and slowly came to a wondrous realization. "This is it…"  
  
Heero slowly nodded. "Yes…the last battle."  
  
***  
  
I'm having a hard time deciding what to do …..ides? help? O.O please? 


	13. Finale

I have writer's block o.O…  
  
Disclaimer: dun own them. If I did, I wouldn't share! XP  
  
***  
  
//Goodbye Treize…//  
  
These were Wufei's thoughts as he wearily headed back to the safe house. The battle was over…the war was done….all because of the vital information that Duo gave to Heero. The location, the OZ's main base, Where Treize was hiding out, what needed to be destroyed….everything. And in the end, Duo had not been able to come with them to fight.  
  
He dropped off shenlong in the hanger and headed in, thinking about the conversation with Duo.  
  
//flash back//  
  
"Hey, Wufei."  
  
"Hey…How are you doing?" Wufei mentally smacked himself for asking such a stupid question.  
  
"Not bad…not good either.."  
  
"Duo…I'm sorry about what…." He started to say, but Duo interrupted him.  
  
"Oh, shut up." Wufei reeled back, shocked. "You did nothing to be sorry for…you were feeling protective of Quatre and your temper got the best of it."  
  
"But I had no right to talk about your heritage and such. I'm so sorry duo. So sorry." Wufei took Duo's hand in his, and looked down.  
  
A moment of silence passed. "Wufei?"  
  
"Hm?" He looked up.  
  
"I love you."  
  
Wufei's eyes widened. He snatched his hand away. "Don't! Don't say that! You deserve someone so much better. You can't possibly love a bastard like me."  
  
"Oh, but I do."  
  
"Duo, please," Wufei pleaded. "Don't do this to me…"  
  
"Wufei, listen to me," Duo placed a hand on the clenched fist that lay on his bed. "I know that there is no way that you can love me back. You're Quatre's and only his. I just had to say it to you, before…."   
  
//before you died…// Wufei was able to catch the unfinished sentence.  
  
"Duo…please."  
  
The American pilot sighed. "All right. Fine. Lets talk about you. Who gave you the black eye?"  
  
Wufei flushed. He mumbled something.   
  
"What? I didn't quite catch that."  
  
"Quatre." He repeated a little more loudly.  
  
"Duo burst out laughing. "Quatre? Why did he do that?"  
  
"He got mad that I yelled at you for coming on to him."  
  
"No kidding?" Duo cracked up again, even though the motion caused him to end up coughing.  
  
Wufei immediately reached for the glass if water, helping duo sit up and got some water into him.  
  
"Better?" Wufei asked. Duo nodded, eyes drooping.  
  
" Why don't you get some sleep?" Wufei said, pulling up the blankets and standing up.  
  
"'fei?" Duo croaked. "Stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?"  
  
Wufei smiled. "Sure."  
  
//end of flashback//  
  
Wufei changed his clothes and started out the door to visit the hospital. The others would be there soon.  
  
Duo was looking even more tired when he arrived. Wufei went and sat next to him, taking the small fragile looking hand in his.   
  
"You look tired." Wufei observed.  
  
Duo gave a weak smile. "Well, that's to be expected. I've been coughing non-stop today."  
  
"We won…"   
  
"Yes, I found out." Duo smiled. "Congratulations."  
  
"No, thank you. For the information. We would have never won other wise." Wufei squeezed the hand that he held.  
  
"Ah, nonsense. You guys did it all by yourselves. Speaking of them, where are they?"  
  
"We are here." Trowa said from the doorway. Quatre and Heero stood behind him.  
  
"Hey guys. Good job. Looks like you'll finally be able to lead normal lives, ne?" duo said, winking, but there was a certain amount of sadness to it.  
  
"WE'LL be able to lead normal lives duo. All of us. Including you." Quatre came to stand beside Duo, taking his other hand.  
  
"Ah, Quatre…" Duo started to protest.  
  
"Oh hush." Quatre silenced him. "Anyways, we came to celebrate the beginning of peace with you. Though you do seem rather tired." He checked Duo's forehead for temperature.  
  
"Hm. I am." He closed his eyes. Suddenly his breathing started to get heavier, his chest rising up and down as he started to gasp for breath.  
  
"Duo? Duo!" Quatre cried. He looked around wildly. "What's going on?" He asked, on the verge of hysterics.  
  
"Someone get the doctor!" Wufei said, looking at Trowa. The Latin pilot nodded and set off immediately to find a doctor.  
  
Meanwhile Quatre was freaking out. Duo clutched the hands that he held desperately. "Take…. care…. of…him..." He breathed out to Quatre. Turning his head, he looked at Wufei and smile, even as his last breath shuddered through his body. "I…love you…" With that his eyes closed, his body fell back on to the bed and a high pitched wine came from the machine that was monitoring his heart beat.  
  
Wufei placed the limp hand that he held back on the bed and moved one step back. Duo looked so ethereal, covered in white sheets and the beautiful face. He had never had the chance to tell him. He had come to love him too.  
  
Meanwhile Quatre was sobbing in Trowa's arms. "He's gone…. I can't believe he's gone…"  
  
Wufei felt something wet on his face. He touched his cheek and was amazed at the damp ness. Tears? He hadn't known that he was capable of tears. Must have been on of the things that Duo had taught him. Emotion….  
  
***  
  
meish gotta leave now….class. Review please! There are more chapters to come…^_^ 


	14. remember

Finally! The last chapter!! Whoopie! Now I can actually concentrate on my other fics…though I rather like this one…I have no IDEA why I write deathfics….T_T  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own the GW boys. The song is by evanescence.  
  
***  
  
"It has been five years since the war has ended and peace has been established…." It was Christmas and Vice-president Relena Dorlian was giving a speech in national television. The four gundam pilots were in the living room of the Winner mansion, listening.  
  
Quatre sat snuggled in Wufei's arms on the couch and Heero sat with Trowa leaning on his shoulder on the floor. They stared at television, paying only half attention to what was being said.   
  
Wufei looked at the time and gently eased Quatre off of him. Quatre looked at him in surprise.   
  
"It's time." Wufei said softly, touching the blond's cheek. Understanding showed in Quatre's eyes and he nodded. Trowa and Heero also got up and all of them went of their separate directions.  
  
***  
  
//Hold on to me love  
  
you know I can't stay long  
  
all I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid. Oh  
  
Can you hear me? Can you feel me in your arms?//  
  
Wufei entered his shrine room and sat down on the ground in front of the elevated platform. Five years ago, he had to add Duo's picture along with the others and it broke his heart.  
  
He started talking to his ancestors and Duo and told them about things and his life…..but mostly…he talked to …Duo…  
  
//Holding my last breath,  
  
Safe inside myself, are all my thoughts of you?  
  
Sweet rapture light, it ends here tonight//  
  
Trowa lit the candles in the music room and stepped back. There were no other lights on, and the entire room was an eerie orange. Quatre stood off to another side, lighting the candles in the other end of the room. On the piano stood the book of poetry and the music sheets.   
  
Quatre took the piano and Trowa pulled out his flute and both of them started to play the beautiful melody in memory of Duo…..  
  
//I'll miss the winter  
  
a world of fragile things  
  
look for me in the while forest hiding in a hollow tree, come find me  
  
Can you hear me? I can taste it in your tears//  
  
Heero made his way to the cemetery, dressed in a simple white shirt and Khaki pants. He walked towards a single headstone and stopped beside him. He did nothing for a moment and then laid down the roses that he had brought. Duo had always loved roses. They were hard to find in the winter but Heero had managed every year and would continue to do so for the coming years.  
  
//Holding my last breath  
  
safe inside myself  
  
are all my thoughts of you  
  
sweet rapture light  
  
it ends here tonight//  
  
A crescendo, a flute harmonizing…..  
  
//Closing your eyes to disappear//  
  
Four pairs of eyes shut tight….  
  
//You pray your dreams will leave you here//  
  
Each one silently praying for what they knew couldn't happen…  
  
//But still you wake and know the truth  
  
NO ONE's there.//  
  
Eyes opened, tears fall, even for the Perfect soldier…  
  
//Say good night…don't be afraid…Calling me Calling me  
  
as you fade to black…//  
  
Wufei signed sadly and peacefully, knowing that Duo was safe, and settled into a deep meditative state.  
  
Quatre and Trowa finished the song they were playing and sat in silence, reminiscing…  
  
Heero smiled slightly and touched his fingertips to his lips and then to the headstone and walked away…..  
  
And then a laughter of a young 15-year could be heard whenever Winter came along….  
  
~Owari~  
  
**  
  
waah! This is sadd…I didn't like the end in ch. 13 so I decided to write this…waah! Sniff what do you think…? 


End file.
